Ice, Ice, Baby

This week Steven was off school and the younger 3 had an at home week. This meant I had kids home all week BUT it also meant no seminary so I got to sleep in all week. The weather was all over the place this week. Monday was so warm that after the younger 3 finished their school work (and some house cleaning) we walked down to 7-11. It was a good outing but this pregnancy is definitely making me slower. 

Tuesday morning I ditched the kids for a bit and went out to breakfast with Stefanie. It is always nice to catch up with her and relate our fun teen problems. That afternoon Ben had a birthday party in Novi so I dropped him off and ran a couple errands with the girls while I was out that way- Penny was on the hunt for fake glasses. She goes through fashion phases. She claims the glasses are so she can look like me so I had to try them on too. The wind was awful that day, made you feel like you couldn't breathe when it hit you, so after the errands and picking up Ben, I was happy to stay inside. 

Wednesday we had freezing rain all day. I did not leave the house. That evening the branches had all grown heavy from the ice and started falling. I love the trees in our neighborhood but during bad weather they can be quite a curse. I did not sleep well with all the crackling and falling limbs. A couple branches falling caused our house to shake. We lost part of our tree in the front yard but thankfully it just fell in the yard and didn't hit anything. Also, thankfully, we did not lose power. The person across from our driveway was less lucky. His tree hit his roof and his cable wire. Around 1am a fire truck parked in front of my bedroom window and 3 firemen went to take care of the wire. They were super loud and laughing about something. Glad they were having a fun time :|. 

Thursday I woke up with anxiety again. Not as bad as the previous week but not great. I knew the exact reason of the anxiety- another birthday party to take a kid to (I hate birthday parties at places I have never been with people I don't know) and also I had a midwife appointment which always makes me anxious. The birthday turned out ok. I was able to drop Lucy off and I when I picked her up, the mom of the kids was nice and chatted with me so I didn't feel too awkward. Afterwards Lucy got to come with me to my appointment. I was so nervous it would be bad news and she would be scarred for life. I was so worried that all my worrying these last couple weeks had hurt the baby (such a vicious cycle anxiety is). The midwife had Lucy use the doppler and again they struggled to find the heartbeat. Thankfully she did find it. She thinks I have an anterior placenta (it's in the front instead of the back) and that was why it was hard to find the heartbeat. That might explain why I haven't felt movement yet. I guess I will find out for sure at the next appointment.

Friday I went with Michelle to look at some more rentals for Mariah and Jeff. There was one with potential but I think they might still be able to find something better if they just give it a little bit. They don't have to move until May so they still have time. It was nice to get out with Michelle but I think sometimes I over share. Probably talking about pregnancy with a real estate agent who has never been married or pregnant wasn't her favorite thing, lol.

Saturday we woke up to snow. This weather just doesn't quit. Also, Saturday Tyler and Steven ditched Robotic's Club again. They didn't go Thursday either and went super late Tuesday. I am not sure having Tyler in the club has been super helpful because he seems to be waning on his commitment to mentor and Steven definitely does not want to go. Steven is even complaining about having to miss school for the competition. He was so excited to miss school for his birthday but for Robotic's Club? Nope. This teen of mine. This is starting to feel like a major waste of money. I don't think we'll do it again next year.

I had a "drive-thru" relief society activity Saturday. That was interesting. One of my seminary students took my order for a drink and cookie and then the RS president hopped in my car and checked in on me and ministering. I probably over shared again. I think my anxiety makes me too chatty sometimes. Anyways the cookie was soooo good and I even drank the soda. I have really been craving soda this pregnancy and I gave in. 

Later that day Tyler took the boys to do D&D at the May's house and Caroline came over and we puzzled while the girls watched a show. It was a good night for all.

Valentine's Day

On Sunday both boys got set apart in their new callings- Ben as Deacon President and Steven as Teacher first counselor. With only 3 boys in the Deacons Quorum and 3 in the Teachers Quorum, it was inevitable they would both be called to something. We'll see how they do in their new callings.

Monday I was supposed to go on a walk with my pregnant friend, Julie, but she ended up in the hospital with premature labor (she's 25 weeks along). Thankfully they were able to stop the contractions and now she is on modified bed rest. The whole thing gave me even more anxiety (is that possible?). How am I supposed to feel safe at 15 weeks when friends are having issues at 25 weeks? Anyways that is my own problem. I am grateful everything turned out ok for her and I hope she is able to make it to her due date. While I was feeling anxious for my friend, Lucy and I went on a walk to the library. It was a beautiful day and the walk really helped me feel better.

Tuesday was Valentine's Day. I made some of my heart sugar cookies for my seminary class but I undercooked them so they weren't as good as usual. I don't know what it is but I swear when I am pregnant my baking/cooking skills suffer. Nothing ever comes out quite right. For my own kids they each got a little "love gift" and some candy and a homemade card. It is a tradition that they still look forward to. The girls made me and Tyler a homemade card, it was very sweet. (I failed to get a pic of Steven)

Tyler was nice and made me my favorite crepes for breakfast and then we went out to Arby's for lunch. That was the extent of our romantic day. That evening Tyler and Steven had Robotic's Club so there were no dates to be had but that's ok. Everything is always extra crowded on Valentine's Day.

Wednesday after we finished our school work, we had the task of buying gifts for birthday parties. The kids have 4 parties in the next 2 weeks. Apparently a lot of people were born in February. We went to Five and Below but they didn't have anything good for their friends so we ended up at Target where we had success. 

Thursday evening I had Bunco at Nancy's house. We had some super fun freezing rain which made the sidewalks like an ice skating rink. I had to take baby steps to get into Nancy's house safely. I have found with Bunco that when the prizes are nothing I am super thrilled about, I do really good. Tonight was no different. I got 2 Bunco's (haven't had one in forever) and ended up with the highest score. I took home two little Valentine's decorations that were cute but I don't really need more knick knacks. I have been trying to root through some of our junk spots in our house this past week so I wasn't thrilled with the idea of bringing home more things. Anyways we ended Bunco a little earlier than normal since we were concerned the roads might get bad due to the freezing rain. Nancy was unhappy about this, she really thrives on time with us Bunco ladies. Thankfully the roads weren't bad, the only bad thing is I need new windshield wipers. They were less effective.

After many nights of 4-5 hours of sleep, Friday night I finally mostly slept through the night. Plus school got cancelled Friday (due to icy roads) so with no seminary I was really able to catch up on sleep. It was amazing and I felt like a whole new person, even my anxiety was lessened. Since then, I have honestly been feeling a lot better, not perfect, but better. 

Saturday I took the 3 younger kids to the mall so I could get a walk in and of course, so I could eat some pretzels. It was a nice little outing with the kids and it felt good to finally be up for one. Later I had to take Penny to a birthday party for a friend at school and my anxiety returned some. I hate going to new places with people I don't know. Thankfully I didn't have to stay at the party so I went to a nearby Target and then got some Wendy's for dinner. And thankfully the anxiety didn't stick around quite as severely as it has in the past. When I picked Penny up she informed me that it was the best birthday party ever. They had done Nerf gun wars and then had pizza and ice cream. She spent the whole drive home talking my ear off about all the birthday party things. I am glad she had a good time. I wish Steven had that kind of excitement for things. 2 months in and he still hates Robotics Club. We are apparently torturing him by making him participate in it. The competition is in a couple weeks and it will be interesting to see if he still hates it after that, especially if they do well in the competition. 

Steven's 15!

On Monday in my attempt to get out more, I went on a walk in the afternoon with a my neighbor, Julie. She is a mom to triplets that are Penny's age and she is pregnant as well. She is just due a few months earlier than me. When I posted that I was pregnant, she sent me a text and soon we set up a weekly walk. It was fun talking with someone who was also surprised with a bonus baby and who will have the exact same age gap between her youngest and the baby. We can definitely relate to each other. 

Tuesday after I cleaned the house, my pregnant body felt like I had overdone it with the long walk Monday and cleaning Tuesday. Everything ached and I hate that. I get nervous when things ache but I don't want to be a lazy bum on the couch because that makes the anxiety worse. Ugh. That night the boys had baptisms at the temple with the ym. I am glad the ward set that up so they could have that opportunity. I really need to get better at getting us all out to the temple more.

Thursday I had my doctor's appointment with the midwife/behavioral specialist. It went really well. She was really easy to talk to and listened well. She suggested I meet with an actual therapist and also prescribed me something to help with the anxiety. I asked her about what ob dr she might recommend since the guy I was seeing had brushed me away so quickly. She laughed and said he was her boss and a great doctor but he doesn't do feelings. She also said I was welcome to see her or any of the other midwives until I got closer to delivery. That sounded good to me so she introduced me to another midwife and then set up my next 3 appointments with her. We also got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. It took a long time to find it-which it never has before- so of course that was terrifying. She did find it though and relief was had. 

Friday was Steven's birthday. He went to seminary but then I let him ditch school since he hasn't missed a single day this year. Once again he wanted to shop for his own gifts so we went to Target and he ended up picking two Nintendo Switch games. He was a little more decisive than last year. Afterwards I took him to Subway for lunch. Later Max and David came over. They played on the Switch, walked to 7-11, ate pizza and cake- and basically just did all the teen things. They ended the night watching the latest "Puss in Boots" movie, which was surprisingly good.

Friday night I took my first pill for my anxiety and I don't know if it was a combo of that and eating all sorts of junk food that night but I did not sleep well and I felt really lousy all of Saturday-stomach ache and headache. I ended up spending most of the day in bed or on the couch. Not a super exciting day for the kids. When Tyler got home from Robotics Club with Steven though, he helped Lucy rearrange her room- basically she just switched the bunk bed and the dresser. Then after dinner he took them all to Meijers to get them out of the house. That was nice because than I got to enjoy a quiet house.

And here's a pic of the girls with the giant bear at the library, a pic of Ben and his friends making pb cookies, and a pic of Ben in his traditional winter outfit.

Cold, Pregnancy Annoucements

Sunday was weird. We had one lady who talked about all her visions she's had of the afterlife during sacrament and then in Sunday School people tried to stir controversy with talking about blacks and the Priesthood. It's not a neat and tidy part of our church history. After church we had a linger longer and they made us listen to a spill on Family History before we could eay. Church is during lunch time so I was starving and felt blah and just wanted to eat already. When it was time to eat they were calling tables and I was bummed it wasn't our turn and Caroline said "Well I think pregnant people should go first" Totally spilled the beans to the other couple at our table. She felt so bad but honestly it was kind of funny. I've slowly been spreading the news so it's fine. I am 13 weeks now which is a fairly safe zone.   

This weeks was soooo cold. We had several days where wind chill left temps feeling like they were in the negatives and I am not a fan. Monday night, after hibernating inside all day, I ventured out to take the kids to 5 and Below and just the short walk from the car to the store was painfully cold. We went to 5 and Below because Grams and Poppy had sent the kids a little Valentine's giftcard and they were desperate to spend it. The girls ended up getting Squishmallows, even though they insisted on touring the whole store first, I knew that was what they would get. The boys both got Bee Swarm Minifigs. And everyone got Tic Tacs because they have had so much junk lately that I wouldn't let them get straight up candy, lol.

Tuesday I was looking forward to having all the kids in school so I could clean the house in peace but...Lucy wasn't feeling well so she ended up staying home and Steven had a half day which meant he was home at 11am. Lucy learned that being home from school is not that fun and was super bored while I cleaned the house and Steven ended up in his room playing an online game with a friend so they mostly stayed out of my way. That day Penny's "Big Sister" shirt arrived and it inspired me to make a little pregnancy announcement. I tried to get them all to make surprised faces but Steven was NOT cooperative. Although weirdly he gave me some nice smiles instead...

I sent this to Tyler's siblings and there was an underwhelming response. When Keshia announced she was pregnant a couple months ago there must have been at least 100 texts in response on the family group text. I announced my pregnancy and got maybe 5 responses. It's fine. Out of sight, out of mind. 

Thursday morning while the kids were at school I went for a walk with my friend Grace. It was surprisingly a warm 19 degrees, ha. I layered up really well and survived. I needed the fresh air and the good talk though. I have really been struggling with my anxiety, haven't really been able to shake it since my last dr's appointment. I've tried doing yoga and breathing techniques and they help for a bit but then it comes back. It was the same with this walk. I felt really good afterwards for a bit but the anxious feelings came back. I finally messaged my doctor saying I probably need to meet sooner and they obliged. I will have an appointment Thursday and hopefully I can get a handle on this stupid anxiety. It is really messing with my sleep. I wonder if I can get them to prescribe me a trip to somewhere warm so I can get outside more. I think that could help ;)

Friday afternoon we had the May kids over. It was one of those days with a negative wind chill but the older kids all walked to seven eleven and all the kids played outside for awhile. They are insane. I only left the house to run a few errands and that was enough outside time for me. That night, since it was pizza night and I needed pizza as a prop we made this pregnancy announcement because I saw it on Pinterest and it was just too fun to not recreate. This will be the social media post. Lucy was nice enough to take the picture but I drove her crazy making her take a bunch of pics so I could get the perfect one (I drove Tyler crazy too). 

Saturday Tyler and I went and did sealings in the temple. My last Endowment Session I had issues with getting things on and remembering things and so I had been delaying coming back to the temple because I felt so anxious about it. With my extra anxiety issues as of late, I knew I needed to get back to the temple but I needed to go in a way that didn't make me even more anxious, lol.  I finally decided we would do sealings because I would have Tyler there and that would make me feel better. It ended up being just us with a bunch of temple workers which was honestly really nice. They asked how many kids we have, and Tyler told them 4 and one on the way. When they asked how old our oldest was, one nice man said we didn't look old enough to have a 15 year old. That was flattering. When we first knelt down I had one of my super fun pregnancy flushes that made me a bit red and sweaty. The sealer must have noticed because he offered me a chair for the rest of the session. I felt silly taking it since I was the youngest in the room but I am glad I did, it made the session much more comfortable. Afterwards we sat in the Celestial room for a bit and then left to get dinner. It was a really good date.

Later, I went out to ice cream with my friends. I am grateful for my friends, they are a little bit crazy but so am I. It is nice to have people I can turn to to vent and get advice. After ice cream we strolled Meijers and at one point we walked past baby clothes and they were admiring them for my future baby. They are convinced it is a girl. I am still not ready for buying things and it is hard to even think about it because I still have that nagging, what if something happens...Still working on trusting that everything will be ok.