Saturday, August 15, 2020

Birthday

I flew back into Michigan Tuesday last week. I had been having some bowel issues so I pretty much fasted the whole flight because I did not want to have issues in a tiny airplane bathroom. The fasting worked but boy was I starving by the time I finally landed. Thankfully Tyler had food waiting for me in the car. Other than worrying about my bowels, the flight went smoothly and I had the whole row to myself which was awesome- there are some perks to flying during covid.

After catching up on things, we did a park play date that Thursday with our friends. It was great to be back in Michigan where we can play outside again and things are green and beautiful. I am just not sure I could ever live in Arizona again, Michigan summers just can't be beat.

On Friday we went to Milford's Sidewalk Sales so we could buy some lemonade from Ben's friend, Andrea. The Sidewalk Sales did not make up for Milford Memories being cancelled this year(stupid covid) but we always enjoy being out in Milford and it was nice to support Ben's friend.


Friday afternoon the girls convinced Tyler to ride bikes with us down to Dodge Park. Lately they have preferred Dodge Park because it's not as crowded as Scarlett's Park. There was no one there so we all had fun goofing around.





Friday evening my friend Caroline arranged a puzzle party to celebrate my birthday. My friend Chalsea wouldn't come because she was worried about me having traveled on a plane recently (although I think planes are actually cleaned better than they were before covid) but I still had my other friends there. We had a lot of fun and Caroline even bought me little cupcakes from my favorite Bundt Cake place.


On my birthday I had a real lazy day. I slept in, Tyler made me crepes, and I spent a lot of my day reading. Then that evening I met my friends at my neighborhood beach and we had hot dogs and hamburgers and enjoyed the amazing weather. Beach days with my friends are really my favorite thing.


When we got home from the beach I got more cake from Nothing Bundt Cake. It even had a fancy hat on it. The girls and Tyler don't like it so it's been all mine. As much as I love it I still haven't been able to finish it. So much cake!


After a fun birthday weekend, I had a not so fun presidency meeting Monday evening. My counselor is being problematic. Apparently she has been interviewing all the girls and asking them about the program which would be ok but she hadn't informed me of this. And then when asked about what she learned from the girls, she kept saying she wasn't comfortable sharing that information at the meeting. It was so weird and frustrating. I really wish I could switch things up and get a new counselor  but Bishop wants me to sit down and chat with her and see if I can work things out. We'll see how that goes. I also have to talk to her about not constantly trying to take over for the girls. She is really sensitive so it's going to be hard to not offend her but she just keeps undermining the program and undermining me

On Tuesday I had my appointment with the surgeon who has performed surgery on Cesarean Scar Defects before. Turns out he's only done it once but since most doctors haven't ever done it he's really my best local option. He told me that the irregular bleeding could honestly be due to the miscarriage and that the only real reason to get this surgery is if I would like to get pregnant again. I'm still undecided but I feel like everything has sort of led me here so I am going to get the surgery. The surgery is scheduled for October 21st so I have plenty of time to change my mind but honestly, I feel at peace with this decision so I don't foresee me changing my mind. 

Tuesday evening I went to my friend Stacey's house. When she asked me if I was pregnant yet I ended up unloading all my miscarriage drama on her. She's a good friend to put up with all my crazy and we really had a good time catching up. The time flew by and we ended up chatting until 11pm. She is also over Covid and masks and thinks this all just getting ridiculous so it was nice to hang out with someone of a similar mindset. 

Wednesday I had a beach day with friends where I got to vent my frustrations with my counselor. Then that evening I went to the younger girls youth activity. They basically just hung out in the Bishop's yard. Our class president is moving so this was like her goodbye party. I am really bummed that she's leaving. She's a lot of fun, really good at including everyone and she's been a great leader. 

Thursday night I got to go make amends with one of my older Young Women who I could tell was upset with me (she had stopped texting me back which was so unlike her). This was the older class president that had gotten released after we had a tiff about activities. I thought she was upset about that but I was totally wrong. Apparently another young woman was telling her that I was divulging sensitive information about her to everyone. Not true. We cleared things up and we're good now but now I am frustrated with this other young woman who seems to love to cause drama. Working with teenagers is so challenging and sometimes it feel like more than I can handle with my own life issues.

Friday evening I went to a friend's pool party at her house. I didn't swim, the sun wasn't out so it was a little to chill for me, but I still enjoyed the time spent with friends. I tried to convince those swimming to do a synchronized swimming show for those of us who weren't swimming but to no avail. We also had s'mores and watched a movie. It was a good times. 

Saturday I had a lazy start and then my friend Patty called. We caught up on life and as we were ending our conversation my friend Katrin called. I basically spent my morning on the phone. That afternoon I met another friend at the beach but we didn't stay too long. The girls got "bored" super quickly which seems to be there MO lately. If the boys were home I might just be tempted to start homeschooling to squash all this boredom.

Right now I am struggling with life not being what I expected. When I started this year I thought I would be having a baby in October. I thought that all my kids would be in school and I would be spending my days with a newborn. Instead, I will be homeschooling all my children, and I will not be having a newborn. And I don't know if I ever will. The surgeon said I would have to wait 6 months after the surgery to try to get pregnant. By the time I get the surgery, wait the obligatory 6 months and then go through a pregnancy...Penny would likely be 8 years old. That is such a huge gap and I don't know if I will still be up for a newborn in 2 years. Gosh life is hard.

No comments:

Post a Comment