Port Huron

Well last week was probably a bit of a fluke because homeschooling did not go nearly as well this week. It was slow escalation of badness until it all erupted Wednesday. Monday was ok, not great, some minor issues with kids. Tuesday a few more issues and then Wednesday just lots of melt downs. The boys both struggled with math, even with me helping them and there were just lots of tears from all of us. It didn't help that my friend had had an emergency and needed me to watch her kids that morning. So not only was the math difficult but they just wanted to finish so they could play with their friends who were over. Their friends got to witness all the tears. It was super. I just wish I was better at being flexible. With the friends over I probably should've just cancelled for the rest of the day but I hate getting behind so instead I trudged through and the day was a disaster. That evening Tyler and I had some good heart to hearts with Steven and Ben. We discussed what they could do when they were getting frustrated to help themselves calm down. We also set up consequences for when they don't calm down. Thursday and Friday went much more smoothly but I'm not super optimistic that the smoothness will continue. I think homeschooling is just going to be a rollercoaster of good and bad.

Besides homeschooling I had some busy evenings. Monday a group of ladies from church had a surprise birthday party for Nancy. She lost her daughter to suicide a couple months ago so she really needed this extra love. It wasn't exactly a group of my closest buddies so I felt a little out of place at times- I really hate big group things- but I am glad I was able to help make her day a little happier.

Tuesday was Bunco. Nancy is in our group so we did another little birthday celebration for her at Bunco. She was grateful but had a moment where she really struggled with her emotions. Suicide is so painful for those it leaves behind. Loss is so hard. She got me tearing up too. 

Wednesday evening we had a bonfire for the younger girl's activity. It was at the house of one girl who hasn't been to an activity for probably a year- also the girl who told me she doesn't need any friends. She pretty immediately took off from the fire and went and sat on her trampoline. Thankfully the other girls went over and sat with her. I had a nice chat with our new advisor while they chatted about who knows what. Then they all came back for a bit and I got this girl to pinky promise that she would come to another activity---if we have it at Biggby (apparently they make great hot cocoa). I am glad we were able to go to her house and she could have some time with the girls and hopefully we'll see her at our Biggby activity ;).

Thursday after we finished our school work I took the 3 youngest on a field trip to Port Huron (it's 1.5 hours away). There is this place called Sprout City there that is basically like a mini city for kids. We were literally the only people there the whole time and even though it was a really cold day, I think the kids had fun. Afterwards they played in the nearby park and rolled down it's big hills. Lucy was so nervous to roll down the hill but once she started it was just a mass giggle fest of all 3 of them rolling down.

When we were done at the park, we drove 2 minutes to see the Fort Gratiot Lighthouse. Yes, I have been there several times before but it was sooo close! I had to go again! The kids begrudgingly took pictures with me- Penny most especially.  

Friday after our schoolwork we met some friends at Central Park in Milford. I gave Steven some spending money and told him he could walk into town with his friend and get a treat. It felt so weird letting him be independent like that. When did he get so old? I also couldn't seem to remember just how old he was. As we were driving home I realized that I had told my friend that he was 11 almost 12. And I think at one point I did say his correct age, 12. She must think I am losing it since I can't keep track of my own kid's age. Homeschooling really does make me braindead by the end of the day.

Saturday I cleaned the house and then attended a yw's training for our area. In it we were told the yw should be having weekly class presidency meetings. This is coming from the general authorities and I know I should be on board but I am just not. I thought the church had been trying too move away from too many meetings and now it feels like we're regressing. I am just not a fan of meetings and this feels like too much. Tyler says if you have them more frequently they should be shorter and while that's a nice thought, reality might pan out differently. Really I am just in a grumbly mood in general, and probably just in need of an attitude adjustment.

Spooky Skeletons

 This week has flown by! Sunday was a nice day of relaxing as the boys recovered from camping and we all watched Conference. The kids are doing a better job at sitting quietly during conference. They still draw/color but they aren't as rowdy as they used to be and we didn't even have to use bribery. For me, the main theme of the talks was having charity for all and that trials are for our good. Uchtdorf let us know that things usually get worse before they get better so I guess I should just come to terms with the fact that 2021 probably isn't going to be a whole lot better than this year.

Homeschooling this week went TONS better. I made some changes and I am hoping those changes attributed to the better week and that this week wasn't just a fluke. Here are the changes... For Ben I got rid of the sentence dictation in his LA's program. This was the programs way of doing spelling but he was constantly getting frustrated when he made a mistake in the sentences so we went back to a traditional spelling list. No more frustrations with spelling. Also I now require the boys to do math with me. They no longer do it on their own and have me check it later. Now we learn the math topic together and I check the worksheet as they work. No more having to have them redo. 

They were really just simple changes that I was being stubborn about. The dictation was easy and I didn't want to put forth effort to find a new spelling program. And for math I thought working with them on it would make my day so much longer but it really isn't since now I am not having to help them fix all their mistakes. I am also trying to not stress myself out about getting everything done and just setting my expectations lower- especially on the extras like piano, coding, read alouds.... I hope that if we continue doing these things, we'll just continue to get in a good rhythm for homeschool. I have decided to just commit to homeschooling all year (I want to keep their year consistent) so I would really like it to not feel like torture. 

Other things that happened this week...Monday I took Benny and Penny to the Doctor for their well check up. We are now going to a Family Practitioner that is right by our house because I just did not like our Pediatrician. I think that the switch was good choice. The doctor really talks things through with me, seems to value my thoughts and the nurses are so patient with kids who are terrified of shots. Penny literally screamed at me "I don't want it!" while I forced her to take her arm out of her shirt for the shot. That was fun. And Ben just cried and grimaced. I really wish I could figure out how to help them be less terrified of shots.

Tuesday I met with my surgeon because I have been having some anxiety and doubts about getting my uterus repaired. I still have my worries and in some ways things were amplified- I mean apparently there's a possibility that he could mess up my bladder in the process- but at this point I am still planning to get it done because if we do try to have another baby it will definitely be safer if I get this surgery done. The only reason I would end up canceling is if insurance doesn't cover it- still waiting for verification on that.

Wednesday the youth activity was cleaning up a road that our ward has adopted. While mostly fun, 2 girls decided to run far ahead and we literally couldn't see them/find them. They also were not answering their phones. Gave me a fair amount of stress. Thankfully one leader managed to track them down. The one girl was quite repentant but the other was full of excuses. Teenagers can be so frustrating. 

Friday we finished school by lunchtime so I took the youngest 3 to Northville to check out all the skeletons they have set up downtown (Steven was not interested in going). We had a really good time- the kids loved posing and taking pictures with all of the skeletons (except Lucy got a little scared of some of them)- and there was an added bonus of playing at a playground by where we had parked. The kids are hopeful that this will become a Halloween tradition. I am hoping we can rope Steven into going with us too sometime soon.

Saturday was a difficult day because it was Isaac's due date. Just a reminder of what am I missing out on. I spent the morning cleaning, and went on a nature walk in the afternoon with a few of the kids. The weather was perfect and the Fall colors are so beautiful. It's good for my heart. Afterwards my friend Corinne popped by with flowers and a loaf of bread. It was really thoughtful of her. She stayed for a little bit with her kids but that wore on me a bit. Goodness I love hanging with her one on one- she had come over to watch Women's Conference with me Sat and we had such a good chat afterwards- but I struggle with her kids. Mostly the baby boy that's just hard for me to look at and not feel sad. I wish I didn't feel that way. After her visit, my friend Jessica popped by with Taco Bell and doughnuts. Also super thoughtful. She stayed for a couple hours and we had such a good visit. I really am blessed with some amazing friends.

S'mores, Fall Walks, Dougnuts, Zoo

This past Sunday we had virtual Stake Conference and I made the kids dress up because they just don't do it very often anymore. They all acted like I was torturing them so I decided to make it even more torturous and take pictures of them too.

Also on Sunday, Tyler cut Ben's hair. He always likes to try out wacky haircuts before shaving it all off. Ben wanted to keep this crazy mohawk but I nixed it.

Sunday evening we had s'mores using supplies that the Primary had dropped off for us. Tyler built a killer fire and the boys discovered a huge praying mantis in the garden. The kids wanted to keep it as a pet but unfortunately for them (fortunately for me) they had nothing to put it in.

Monday was a rough day. Even though I had really done a good job of getting things done during the weekend (housecleaning and lesson planning) the kids were all still in moods. By the end of the day I felt disheartened and ready to quit homeschooling. There were just so many hard emotions being manifested and I was just not enjoying it. 

Tuesday started off a little better. After some work, we went on a walk across the street and this time we went further down the trail and discovered that it led to a graveyard. The kids thought this was awesome and enjoyed seeing and reading the different headstones. We were all enjoying ourselves until the walk back. As we walked back the boys started fighting and pestering the girls and then Lucy didn't listen when crossing a busy road and almost got hit by a car. And then Ben didn't listen when we were crossing a less busy road and almost got hit by a car. This left me so anxious and high strung that the rest of the day was just more crummy. 

Tuesday was my friend's daughter's birthday. I know she had said she wasn't having a party for her daughter so the girls and I decided to drop off a present for her. When we got there my friend ended up inviting us in and we got to join in the birthday singing and cake eating. It was a nice way to spend the evening.

Wednesday morning was awful. The boys were headed out camping with Tyler and some friends but before they left, I made them do math and language arts. I didn't want them missing out on 3 days of school work. They were not happy about this and once again, so many negative emotions being manifested. Once they left the day took a total turn for the better. It was so much easier and so much more relaxed to just be teaching the girls. We also had plenty of time for another walk to the graveyard and discovered a pretty creek nearby it. The girls had fun collecting fall leaves and there was no fighting and no running in front of cars.

Later we dropped by Long's for doughnuts because they had just opened up for the season and they have my most favorite doughnuts. And also they are only like 5 minutes from our house which is a blessing and a curse. I got a dozen for the three of us- that's how much I love them.

After that we went to the library and stocked up on more books- I think we have like 70 checked out but no worries, I hear the limit is 99. Then we ended our fun day watching "A Little Princess." The girls and I wanted to watch something super girly and this fit the bill. We watched the real old school version with Shirley Tempe and Penny commented on what a good singer and dancer Shirley was.

Besides suffering from some major allergies, Thursday was another really great day. We did some school work and then we went to the Toledo Zoo. We brought along a Zoo BINGO which involved checking off things like animals that weighed more that 1000 pounds, flightless birds, mammals that were omnivores, etc. The girls got popcorn when they got a BINGO. Afterwards we talked in the car about facts vs opinion and finished up some school when we finally got home. 

That evening we made an apple crisp which the girls are apparently not fans of and then they had to tag along with me to visit one of my yw. They were good girls and watched "Beauty and the Beast" on my phone while I visited and I tried not to constantly wipe my itchy, leaky nose. Promise it allergies and not Covid!

Friday I think we were all beat (still had a major runny nose) so we just sprinkled learning in amongst all their playing. No fun outings. These last few days have seriously been game changing. It made me realize that homeschooling is actually a blast- when you only have 2 kids who were pretty close in age to manage. And 2 kids that don't fight and give you constant grief. And 2 kids that have totally easy things to teach. Now I have to figure out how to make teaching the boys not so miserable. To add to decisions, my district just voted to resume face to face teaching in November. It will be 5 days a week but only for grades K-5th. If it was 7th, I would send Steven back asap. But it's not. I am tempted to send Ben back but I am on the fence with the girls since we just had an amazing last few days. I've got some time to think about it but it's such a big decisions.

Friday evening the girls requested a girls only pizza party so we had Lucy's friend Jenna over and Caroline and Lizzy. I enjoyed hanging and working on a puzzle with my friend and the girls had a blast with Jenna.

Today, Saturday, I spent the morning cleaning and then watched General Conference. The boys should be home from camping any minute and it will be fun to hear all their camping adventures. I don't know how they could enjoy camping in 30 degree rainy weather but from talking to Tyler on the phone, it sounds like overall they did. 

Also this week my poor mom was in the hospital with heart problems. She ended up getting a pacemaker and defibrillator implant on Thursday. This was all pretty scary and crazy and I hate that I am so far away and can't be there with her. I thought about flying down but would hate to pick up germs on the way there and share them with her when she's got these crazy heart issues going on. So alas I have to try and just support her from afar. It really stinks.

Apple Picking

This past weekend I went through my boxes of puzzles because Tyler was complaining they were taking over the basement. He was right. I managed to get rid of a few boxes of them but I still probably have more than I should. Ben and I did have a fun time dropping off puzzles to various friends while listening to Minecraft music Monday evening though. It made for some great quality time.

Monday it was back to a full week of homeschooling. I find that I feel all sort of different emotions within just one day of homeschooling. There are moments that I really love and moments that I just get so frustrated. Good moments usually involve something clicking for the kids or a lesson that I just enjoy teaching or our fun breaks outdoors or reading. Less fun moments tend to involve something that is difficult for the kids (usually math and writing) or when they just want to play and are tired of working.

Below are some pictures from a good moment. Tyler and I had went on a date the past weekend. On our date we had picked up some food and ate it at a nearby park called Mill Race Park. The park looked like fun for the kids so for our break Tuesday, I took the kids to the park. They had a lot of fun climbing around the river and it turned out to be educational too. The park was the site of the former Commerce Roller Mill. So we got to talk about some Commerce history while we were there.  

The kids loved it so much that they wanted to go back Wednesday. Our revisit there did not end up being a good moment. I thought they had prepared themselves this time for the possibility of getting wet since they enjoyed climbing by the river best but it turned out they had not. Penny was the first to slip and step into the river. She cried for a good long time before Steven showed her another, easier way to get to where we were. It was very sweet of him to help her out.

The second fall came for Lucy. As we were climbing back to the other side of the river, she got to the point where she had to let go of a limb and just balance on the log. This sent her into a panic and she let go at a real inopportune time, falling forward into the water. It wasn't deep at all or swift so she was thankfully unharmed. But she was definitely unhappy about being wet. Instead of just stomping through the water the rest of the way- she was already wet you know- she got back on the log and after much crying and effort, made it back over to us. It was real traumatic for her and she didn't calm down for a long while after which was real frustrating to me.

Wednesday night I went to the older girls yw's activity. It was a bonfire at one girl's house. I've decided the older girls are lame. They like their phones way too much and they all took off 50 minutes in. After the activity though, I had a really good talk with my advisor. You see Sunday I went to the Bishop and spilled all my frustrations about my counselor and he had basically told me just to pray about it and to do things that I had already tried. I actually started crying at his advice because I am so frustrated with it all. Thankfully after this activity as I was talking to my advisor I found out she had just been following this counselor's lead and in talking to her I found out she fully supported what I am trying to do to help the girls take on more responsibility. She said she would try to help me get this counselor on track and help me get the program running the way it should be. I am so grateful to her for this and it felt like an answer to the dang prayers the Bishop asked me to give.

Thursday after we finished our school work, we picked up some books from the library and read over in the woods by it. It was beautiful outside and I really like the change of scenery. When our reading time was up we walked over to Scarlet's Playground and met the Mays. I love that my kids get along so well with hers. The reading and playing with friends made up a good moment. 

Thursday night I had a presidency meeting and I did a training that I was really proud of- directed right at this frustrating counselor. I talked about the feeling of accomplishment that comes when someone does something themselves and how it helps them to grow in confidence and strength. I talked about how we are not letting the girl do enough for their activities and how when we take over we deny them this growth. It seriously was a good training and it totally struck a nerve with her. She got real quiet and stone faced for most of the meeting but at the end she made some comments that showed a slight change in her behavior. Although she can't seem to let go of bringing treats, I don't know what her deal is with the dang treats. Regardless, I am hoping things will be changing for the good in young women's.

Friday was field trip day. Tyler got off work in the morning and we all went to Spicer's Orchard in Fenton to pick apples. The weather was perfect and it was a nice outing. We talked about Johnny Appleseed and how Michigan is a big producer of apples. We talked about how long it takes apple trees to grow, and what it takes to grow them. It was super educational. Afterwards we had some super educational doughnuts and apple cider. Lucy got crabby with me when I asked her to skip count the apples as we were waiting on Tyler to bring the doughnuts (she hates skip counting) so I got a fun picture of her crabbiness. Steven also acted like a bored pre teen through most of it. Oh the attitude on that kid. He keeps telling me that he wishes there was no such thing as school and he could just plug into something and download all he needs to know.

After the field trip the boys did their usual work and the girls got to count with apples, read some fun apple themed books, write about apples, use an apple as a stamp and see if apples sink or float. I'd like to say it was all fun but the girls got frustrated with writing and the apple stamp was a bit of a mess. 

When we finished our work for the day Ben and Penny went on a bike ride with me to the library to pick up some more books (Lucy and Steven were not interested in going). I had a really nice time with both of them. We made up songs and stories and saw a woodchuck run across the bike path. That was one of the really good moments.