Pumpkins and Surgery

Last Sunday started off a bit lazy- Tyler and I slept in and totally missed our church's broadcast. But after that things got busy. We did our own family sacrament meeting, then Steven had virtual Sunday School (in which his class could hear me yelling at Ben not to change in front of Steven's screen- seriously Ben was in in his underwear as Steven was joining the Zoom meeting). After Steven's virtual Sunday School, us grown ups had our virtual Sunday School. It was actually really nice to hang at home and send texts messages to friends during the meeting (apparently I am good at being distracting whether in person or virtual). Then Tyler and I had Ward Council. Next we had tithing settlement in which Penny told the Bishop she was not a full tithe payer and then it was time to watch Peter's baptism via zoom (Peter is Lucy's good buddy). When that was done we went down to Peter's house for his surprise birthday party. That was really nice to mingle and eat and then it was back home for me so I could attend a yw's class presidency meeting. This was the first one for the new younger girls presidency and it actually went rather smoothly- I just think they planned sort of lame activities but we shall see...I could be wrong. And that was our crazy Sunday.

Monday we did our homeschooling in the morning and that went pretty well and after lunch I had to go get my Covid test since I was scheduled for surgery Wednesday. Since my first Covid test was awful and my second was ok, I wasn't sure what to expect. It ended up being in between. My nostrils and eyes burned like crazy BUT I didn't feel like they were trying to swab my brain so that was good. That evening I had planned to carve pumpkins with the kids but as we left to go buy them the girls started fighting in the car. Before we even left the neighborhood I decided we should go back home because they were being so naughty. This led to epic tantrums by both girls and no pumpkin carving. Seriously the drama unleashed by those two was something else, you would have thought we had ruined thier lives. Penny threw herself on the ground outside the car and kicked and cried. They both ended up in their room. Penny calmed down first. Through the heater vent we could hear her say, "I calmed down, it's Lucy who is still crying." That was so funny to us that she knew we could hear her if she talked to the vent.

Tuesday evening we ended up giving the kids another chance to carve pumpkins. This attempt went much better. We picked up pumpkins at Kroger's and I ended up scooping guts out of 4 pumpkins while the kids watched "Hocus Pocus". I didn't super enjoy that. I also ended up carving Penny's pumpkin in the design she had sketched out. The rest of the kids did pretty good at carving out their own designs.

Wednesday was surgery day. The surgery was at 7am and I had to be there at 5am. I did not sleep much the night before but I do have to say that even though my mind was worrying, I felt fairly calm. Does that even make sense? Anyways we were at a different hospital so it was a little confusing to find it and figure out parking but I was glad to have Tyler there. They even let him go to the waiting room with me. Unfortunately he wasn't allowed to go back with me. The prepping was not fun. Blood drawn, 2 IV's, nurse talking all about her pregnant daughter- not the best conversation with someone having uterus issues. Then I had to take 6 pills with hardly any water and then there was the shot of blood thinner to my belly. Holy cow did that burn. It was awful. Thankfully my nerves never seemed to catch up with me or at least I can't remember them catching up. I just remember being rolled back by a crabby, sarcastic short nurse and a tall friendly nurse, moving onto the table and then...that's it. 

When I woke up I felt supper shaky and dizzy and it took a bit to really wake up. And unfortunately when I sent a text to Tyler to ask him if the doctor talked to him, he didn't have reassuring things to say. Then the nurse confirmed that they went in but they didn't fix anything. I am still confused by it all. Apparently after making 2 incisions and going in and trying different methods to find the defect in my uterine wall- he found nothing. No defect, no evidence of a defect. Tyler the ever optimist says this was good that we have confirmation that my uterus is fine and I think he feels like I was miraculously healed. Me, with 2 achy incisions and feeling super pessimistic, isn't so sure. I can't help feeling like this surgery was pointless. I can't help wondering if there ever was a defect or if they read my MRI wrong. I guess regardless, the bottom line is my uterus is fine. And once my incisions heal I am free to try to get pregnant again, if I so choose. I don't know what I choose. This has all been so much.

Thursday and Friday were spent homeschooling some from bed and trying to resist the urge to do all the things that needed to be done. Saturday I attempted to do some house cleaning things in the morning and then spent the afternoon in bed. Honestly the recovery hasn't been so bad. Compared to a c-section these two little incisions are nothing. I have had more issues with a sore throat (probably because of the breathing tube), and my tummy bothering me. As long as I kept up on pain meds, the incision hasn't hurt too much and today (Sunday), I haven't even needed any pain meds. I even went to in person church and made dinner. I would say the recovery has been pretty quick and smooth. 

Things I am grateful for: a friend who came to my house at 5:30am so my kids wouldn't be alone when they woke up. She then took my kids to her house and kept them there until dinner time. Another friend who brought dinner Thursday evening, even when Tyler insisted he had it. And our neighbor who heard from Ben about the surgery and surprised us with dinner Saturday. And of course Tyler, for helping with the kids and buying me smoothies when food sounded gross.

Port Huron

Well last week was probably a bit of a fluke because homeschooling did not go nearly as well this week. It was slow escalation of badness until it all erupted Wednesday. Monday was ok, not great, some minor issues with kids. Tuesday a few more issues and then Wednesday just lots of melt downs. The boys both struggled with math, even with me helping them and there were just lots of tears from all of us. It didn't help that my friend had had an emergency and needed me to watch her kids that morning. So not only was the math difficult but they just wanted to finish so they could play with their friends who were over. Their friends got to witness all the tears. It was super. I just wish I was better at being flexible. With the friends over I probably should've just cancelled for the rest of the day but I hate getting behind so instead I trudged through and the day was a disaster. That evening Tyler and I had some good heart to hearts with Steven and Ben. We discussed what they could do when they were getting frustrated to help themselves calm down. We also set up consequences for when they don't calm down. Thursday and Friday went much more smoothly but I'm not super optimistic that the smoothness will continue. I think homeschooling is just going to be a rollercoaster of good and bad.

Besides homeschooling I had some busy evenings. Monday a group of ladies from church had a surprise birthday party for Nancy. She lost her daughter to suicide a couple months ago so she really needed this extra love. It wasn't exactly a group of my closest buddies so I felt a little out of place at times- I really hate big group things- but I am glad I was able to help make her day a little happier.

Tuesday was Bunco. Nancy is in our group so we did another little birthday celebration for her at Bunco. She was grateful but had a moment where she really struggled with her emotions. Suicide is so painful for those it leaves behind. Loss is so hard. She got me tearing up too. 

Wednesday evening we had a bonfire for the younger girl's activity. It was at the house of one girl who hasn't been to an activity for probably a year- also the girl who told me she doesn't need any friends. She pretty immediately took off from the fire and went and sat on her trampoline. Thankfully the other girls went over and sat with her. I had a nice chat with our new advisor while they chatted about who knows what. Then they all came back for a bit and I got this girl to pinky promise that she would come to another activity---if we have it at Biggby (apparently they make great hot cocoa). I am glad we were able to go to her house and she could have some time with the girls and hopefully we'll see her at our Biggby activity ;).

Thursday after we finished our school work I took the 3 youngest on a field trip to Port Huron (it's 1.5 hours away). There is this place called Sprout City there that is basically like a mini city for kids. We were literally the only people there the whole time and even though it was a really cold day, I think the kids had fun. Afterwards they played in the nearby park and rolled down it's big hills. Lucy was so nervous to roll down the hill but once she started it was just a mass giggle fest of all 3 of them rolling down.

When we were done at the park, we drove 2 minutes to see the Fort Gratiot Lighthouse. Yes, I have been there several times before but it was sooo close! I had to go again! The kids begrudgingly took pictures with me- Penny most especially.  

Friday after our schoolwork we met some friends at Central Park in Milford. I gave Steven some spending money and told him he could walk into town with his friend and get a treat. It felt so weird letting him be independent like that. When did he get so old? I also couldn't seem to remember just how old he was. As we were driving home I realized that I had told my friend that he was 11 almost 12. And I think at one point I did say his correct age, 12. She must think I am losing it since I can't keep track of my own kid's age. Homeschooling really does make me braindead by the end of the day.

Saturday I cleaned the house and then attended a yw's training for our area. In it we were told the yw should be having weekly class presidency meetings. This is coming from the general authorities and I know I should be on board but I am just not. I thought the church had been trying too move away from too many meetings and now it feels like we're regressing. I am just not a fan of meetings and this feels like too much. Tyler says if you have them more frequently they should be shorter and while that's a nice thought, reality might pan out differently. Really I am just in a grumbly mood in general, and probably just in need of an attitude adjustment.

Spooky Skeletons

 This week has flown by! Sunday was a nice day of relaxing as the boys recovered from camping and we all watched Conference. The kids are doing a better job at sitting quietly during conference. They still draw/color but they aren't as rowdy as they used to be and we didn't even have to use bribery. For me, the main theme of the talks was having charity for all and that trials are for our good. Uchtdorf let us know that things usually get worse before they get better so I guess I should just come to terms with the fact that 2021 probably isn't going to be a whole lot better than this year.

Homeschooling this week went TONS better. I made some changes and I am hoping those changes attributed to the better week and that this week wasn't just a fluke. Here are the changes... For Ben I got rid of the sentence dictation in his LA's program. This was the programs way of doing spelling but he was constantly getting frustrated when he made a mistake in the sentences so we went back to a traditional spelling list. No more frustrations with spelling. Also I now require the boys to do math with me. They no longer do it on their own and have me check it later. Now we learn the math topic together and I check the worksheet as they work. No more having to have them redo. 

They were really just simple changes that I was being stubborn about. The dictation was easy and I didn't want to put forth effort to find a new spelling program. And for math I thought working with them on it would make my day so much longer but it really isn't since now I am not having to help them fix all their mistakes. I am also trying to not stress myself out about getting everything done and just setting my expectations lower- especially on the extras like piano, coding, read alouds.... I hope that if we continue doing these things, we'll just continue to get in a good rhythm for homeschool. I have decided to just commit to homeschooling all year (I want to keep their year consistent) so I would really like it to not feel like torture. 

Other things that happened this week...Monday I took Benny and Penny to the Doctor for their well check up. We are now going to a Family Practitioner that is right by our house because I just did not like our Pediatrician. I think that the switch was good choice. The doctor really talks things through with me, seems to value my thoughts and the nurses are so patient with kids who are terrified of shots. Penny literally screamed at me "I don't want it!" while I forced her to take her arm out of her shirt for the shot. That was fun. And Ben just cried and grimaced. I really wish I could figure out how to help them be less terrified of shots.

Tuesday I met with my surgeon because I have been having some anxiety and doubts about getting my uterus repaired. I still have my worries and in some ways things were amplified- I mean apparently there's a possibility that he could mess up my bladder in the process- but at this point I am still planning to get it done because if we do try to have another baby it will definitely be safer if I get this surgery done. The only reason I would end up canceling is if insurance doesn't cover it- still waiting for verification on that.

Wednesday the youth activity was cleaning up a road that our ward has adopted. While mostly fun, 2 girls decided to run far ahead and we literally couldn't see them/find them. They also were not answering their phones. Gave me a fair amount of stress. Thankfully one leader managed to track them down. The one girl was quite repentant but the other was full of excuses. Teenagers can be so frustrating. 

Friday we finished school by lunchtime so I took the youngest 3 to Northville to check out all the skeletons they have set up downtown (Steven was not interested in going). We had a really good time- the kids loved posing and taking pictures with all of the skeletons (except Lucy got a little scared of some of them)- and there was an added bonus of playing at a playground by where we had parked. The kids are hopeful that this will become a Halloween tradition. I am hoping we can rope Steven into going with us too sometime soon.

Saturday was a difficult day because it was Isaac's due date. Just a reminder of what am I missing out on. I spent the morning cleaning, and went on a nature walk in the afternoon with a few of the kids. The weather was perfect and the Fall colors are so beautiful. It's good for my heart. Afterwards my friend Corinne popped by with flowers and a loaf of bread. It was really thoughtful of her. She stayed for a little bit with her kids but that wore on me a bit. Goodness I love hanging with her one on one- she had come over to watch Women's Conference with me Sat and we had such a good chat afterwards- but I struggle with her kids. Mostly the baby boy that's just hard for me to look at and not feel sad. I wish I didn't feel that way. After her visit, my friend Jessica popped by with Taco Bell and doughnuts. Also super thoughtful. She stayed for a couple hours and we had such a good visit. I really am blessed with some amazing friends.

S'mores, Fall Walks, Dougnuts, Zoo

This past Sunday we had virtual Stake Conference and I made the kids dress up because they just don't do it very often anymore. They all acted like I was torturing them so I decided to make it even more torturous and take pictures of them too.

Also on Sunday, Tyler cut Ben's hair. He always likes to try out wacky haircuts before shaving it all off. Ben wanted to keep this crazy mohawk but I nixed it.

Sunday evening we had s'mores using supplies that the Primary had dropped off for us. Tyler built a killer fire and the boys discovered a huge praying mantis in the garden. The kids wanted to keep it as a pet but unfortunately for them (fortunately for me) they had nothing to put it in.

Monday was a rough day. Even though I had really done a good job of getting things done during the weekend (housecleaning and lesson planning) the kids were all still in moods. By the end of the day I felt disheartened and ready to quit homeschooling. There were just so many hard emotions being manifested and I was just not enjoying it. 

Tuesday started off a little better. After some work, we went on a walk across the street and this time we went further down the trail and discovered that it led to a graveyard. The kids thought this was awesome and enjoyed seeing and reading the different headstones. We were all enjoying ourselves until the walk back. As we walked back the boys started fighting and pestering the girls and then Lucy didn't listen when crossing a busy road and almost got hit by a car. And then Ben didn't listen when we were crossing a less busy road and almost got hit by a car. This left me so anxious and high strung that the rest of the day was just more crummy. 

Tuesday was my friend's daughter's birthday. I know she had said she wasn't having a party for her daughter so the girls and I decided to drop off a present for her. When we got there my friend ended up inviting us in and we got to join in the birthday singing and cake eating. It was a nice way to spend the evening.

Wednesday morning was awful. The boys were headed out camping with Tyler and some friends but before they left, I made them do math and language arts. I didn't want them missing out on 3 days of school work. They were not happy about this and once again, so many negative emotions being manifested. Once they left the day took a total turn for the better. It was so much easier and so much more relaxed to just be teaching the girls. We also had plenty of time for another walk to the graveyard and discovered a pretty creek nearby it. The girls had fun collecting fall leaves and there was no fighting and no running in front of cars.

Later we dropped by Long's for doughnuts because they had just opened up for the season and they have my most favorite doughnuts. And also they are only like 5 minutes from our house which is a blessing and a curse. I got a dozen for the three of us- that's how much I love them.

After that we went to the library and stocked up on more books- I think we have like 70 checked out but no worries, I hear the limit is 99. Then we ended our fun day watching "A Little Princess." The girls and I wanted to watch something super girly and this fit the bill. We watched the real old school version with Shirley Tempe and Penny commented on what a good singer and dancer Shirley was.

Besides suffering from some major allergies, Thursday was another really great day. We did some school work and then we went to the Toledo Zoo. We brought along a Zoo BINGO which involved checking off things like animals that weighed more that 1000 pounds, flightless birds, mammals that were omnivores, etc. The girls got popcorn when they got a BINGO. Afterwards we talked in the car about facts vs opinion and finished up some school when we finally got home. 

That evening we made an apple crisp which the girls are apparently not fans of and then they had to tag along with me to visit one of my yw. They were good girls and watched "Beauty and the Beast" on my phone while I visited and I tried not to constantly wipe my itchy, leaky nose. Promise it allergies and not Covid!

Friday I think we were all beat (still had a major runny nose) so we just sprinkled learning in amongst all their playing. No fun outings. These last few days have seriously been game changing. It made me realize that homeschooling is actually a blast- when you only have 2 kids who were pretty close in age to manage. And 2 kids that don't fight and give you constant grief. And 2 kids that have totally easy things to teach. Now I have to figure out how to make teaching the boys not so miserable. To add to decisions, my district just voted to resume face to face teaching in November. It will be 5 days a week but only for grades K-5th. If it was 7th, I would send Steven back asap. But it's not. I am tempted to send Ben back but I am on the fence with the girls since we just had an amazing last few days. I've got some time to think about it but it's such a big decisions.

Friday evening the girls requested a girls only pizza party so we had Lucy's friend Jenna over and Caroline and Lizzy. I enjoyed hanging and working on a puzzle with my friend and the girls had a blast with Jenna.

Today, Saturday, I spent the morning cleaning and then watched General Conference. The boys should be home from camping any minute and it will be fun to hear all their camping adventures. I don't know how they could enjoy camping in 30 degree rainy weather but from talking to Tyler on the phone, it sounds like overall they did. 

Also this week my poor mom was in the hospital with heart problems. She ended up getting a pacemaker and defibrillator implant on Thursday. This was all pretty scary and crazy and I hate that I am so far away and can't be there with her. I thought about flying down but would hate to pick up germs on the way there and share them with her when she's got these crazy heart issues going on. So alas I have to try and just support her from afar. It really stinks.