Staying Home

It's crazy to think that it's been about 5 weeks since we've been ordered to stay at home to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus. Also crazy that the Governor just extended the stay at home order until May 15th. 3 more weeks of this. While there's some positives- having Tyler home, not having a strict schedule of places to be, more time to get outside when the weather is good, more family time...we are also ready for it to be done. I can tell we are all kind of wearing on one another and we could use the company of friends. I am hoping that this order does not continue to get extended.

Monday was a really rough start to the week. The kids had a hard time getting back into the swing of school and Steven and I had a particularly rough battle. He had a Zoom meeting that he did not want to attend because of screen time. In the end, he lost screen time and it was decided that we had to trash our daily schedule. It just wasn't working to have an hour of screen time in the morning and one in the afternoon  because of all the Zoom meetings. Now we just do both hours in the afternoon after all the school work and Zoom meetings are over. It has definitely helped.

Wednesday I finally decided it was time to take care of myself again and did a work out. Ironically that night our Youth Activity via Zoom was also a work out. I turned off my camera and sat that one out. I am not in the kind of shape yet where I can do 2 workouts a day, ha ha. I am so sore from working out again. I know it's a good thing but oh my achin' back.

Thursday after much procrastination I went for my d and c follow up. There were so many factors keeping me from making this appointment- really awful last memories of being there, all the happy pregnant people that will inevitably be there, and then there was the fact that I knew I wasn't healing correctly and worried I might need a second d and c. Unfortunately my worries were justified. The doctor did a vaginal ultrasound and discovered something in my uterus- either tissue or a fibroid. Also my uterus still seems large. I have to go in for a second ultrasound Monday and if it is tissue, I will likely need a second d and c. 

I melted down when I got home. It feels like salt in the wound. I had prayed so hard that the doctor would do it properly and then when I felt I wasn't healing I prayed to be healed. I feel like I can accept the miscarriage but I am having a hard time accepting this further complications. I want this to be over. And I also don't want the financial burden of another d and c (we're at $2600 for the first and still haven't received the anesthesiologist bill). It's just really awful and this stupid coronavirus makes me just feel so isolated in my pain. 

Friday I was still sad but thankfully it was a warmer day and we could get out and do a bike ride. Getting out helps. Also, we started teaching Penny to ride a 2 wheeler this week and goodness she caught on fast. She is great at balancing and riding and doing well at stopping (and pretty good at catching herself when she falls). She's done some laps around the neighborhood and maybe soon I'll be comfortable enough to let her ride to our spot by the library.

Friday night the boys wanted to do a camp out. Much too cold for me but they were real excited at the prospect. They even set up the tent by themselves. The girls were given permission to join them for part of the night. However, after hot cocoa, and other fun things- the night got dark and they got scared. They all were back in by 10pm.

That night I also had another Zoom chat with friends. My friend Bethany who had moved to Utah arranged and their were about 9 other ladies there. Some who live here and some others who have moved away over the years. I'll be honest it was real boring at first. Everyone went through and updated each other on their lives and I pretty much knew most the updates already. So I busily puzzled. Then my friend Jenny C (we had visited her in VA a couple summers ago) updated that after 2 miscarriages she was pregnant. I hate that despite her hard road I felt envious of her. I also wanted to chat one on one with her because her story sounded so similar. Well with some patience everyone left the chat but her, and 2 other friends so I brought up my recent miscarriage and that like her, I had felt prompted to have this baby. There were so many similarities in our stories- only I am at the beginning and she is at the end so to speak. We had a good conversation and the other 2 ladies talked about some of their struggles and everyone shared good thoughts and advice and I am so glad I stuck in there. I needed that conversation with someone who had been in my situation. 

Saturday I gave up keeping Ben away from his friend Jacob, our neighbor. I allowed him to go on a bike ride with him, then we were all chatting in their yard and before I knew it Jacob's mom was taking all my kids on her golf cart for a ride. So much for social distancing. Honestly though, it was so nice to talk to people in real life and Ben was just so happy to be with his friend again that I just don't feel that bad.

Saturday afternoon we went for a drive to Detroit. No one was that excited about it but I just wanted a family outing and that was as "out" as we could get. We saw some of the statues in Detroit, drove by the tall and historical buildings and ended at the Heidelberg Project which is described as having art in people's front yards but really looks like a lot of yard sale items piled up in various ways and painted on. Still it was enlightening to drive through the neighborhoods of Detroit on our way there and see that crazy variety of houses. It makes me feel blessed for the home I have. 

Easter and April Snow Showers

Easter Sunday the kids were up by 7am, super anxious to find their Easter baskets. The Bunny of course left notes with clues.

Steven's basket clue was: "They cause you a lot of work but can be your best friend. I hid your basket near them." He found his basket by his guinea pigs. Inside his basket was a Fitness Tracker watch (to help with his physical goal), a temple recommend holder/lanyard, a mother/son journal, stickers, mini Jenga, play dough, bubbles, minecraft minifigure, bubbles and a chocolate bunny.

Penny's basket clue was: "I heard you can wipe your own bum. I put your basket by the place where this is done." She found her basket in the downstairs bathroom. Inside her basket was a game to learn sight words called Zingo (to help her with her intellectual goal to read), a smoothie cup (to help with her physical goal to make healthy smoothies), a gratitude journal, a puzzle, water colors, blank canvas, stickers, bubbles, a Shopkins, play dough, Lip Smacker and a chocolate bunny.

Lucy's basket clue was: "Look for you basket where you learn, to make sure it does not burn." Her basket was under their "homeschooling" table by the fireplace. Inside her basket: a Yoga mat (aka towel) and Yoga book (to help with her physical goal), a Dogman book, a gratitude journal, a blank canvas, a Shopkin, bubbles, play dough, a puzzle, stickers, Lip Smacker and a chocolate bunny.

Ben's basket clue was: "Thanks for celebrating my brother. He likes attention and can be such a bother. If it's a basket you seek, it's near something you made for him last week." His clue was by our mini Chungus Christmas Tree which we still have up. Inside his basket was: a Fitness Tracker Watch (to help with his Physical goal), a gratitude journal, stickers, bubbles, play dough, toy Ninjas, a blank canvas, bath slime, Minecraft minifigure and a chocolate bunny.

Dad is a lucky duck and his basket was set up on the kitchen table, no searching needed. He got a Dwight "False" shirt, a water gun and some candy.

Mom's basket was also on the table. She refused pictures due to messy hair and glasses but she got watercolor paper and new watercolor brush pens.

After Easter baskets were discovered and played with, it was time for the traditional Easter Bunny pancake breakfast. Tyler always tells the kids to bite off the heads first so they can't scream. He's so funny.

Even though we can't go to church because of the Coronavirus, I still made the kids get dressed up for Easter Sunday because it's tradition. Our church did do an Easter devotional via Zoom which was nice. It had 2 special musical numbers and a Bishopric member spoke. He is an ER doctor and he spoke about the different reactions to death and I could feel the spirit testify that I will see my Isaac again. After the devotional we did our own family church meeting- sacrament, a lesson by Lucy using eggs with objects to tell the Easter story and then we listened to the song "I Know that my Redeemer Lives" and talked about why we are grateful that He lives.

That afternoon we did a bike ride WITH TYLER! That never happens! It was nice to have him along so he could stay up with the speedy ones and I could stay back with my pokey puppy, Penny. We brought some sidewalk chalk along and colored the sidewalks near the library. People may not have appreciated us being the walking/biking path but we always moved out of the way and it was fun. I wish we had sidewalks in our neighborhood or even just a driveway we could color on would be nice.

This week the weather was cold and snowy so there were no fun nature walks or bike rides which I think is partly why there was more tension and fighting in the house. We also started school again this week. Steven really struggles and gets mad when I try to go over assignments he has due or even try to help him. Ben had a lot of emotional moments when he didn't understand things. Lucy was pretty whiny over certain assignments- basically anything that wasn't just a learning computer game. It is definitely not looking like I will ever choose to homeschool. The only highlight was that Penny's teacher sent more assignments this week so I wasn't trying to scrape together things for her to do.

I had quite a few Zoom meetings this week. 2 for YW- one to teach them indexing and one for our weekly activity. 1 to get my temple recommend renewed (interview with Bishopric member).1 with the Sister missionaries here in Michigan- they taught the kids about following Christ. And 1 with a few friends. It was my friend Chalsea's birthday so we did a virtual puzzle birthday party. We each had our own puzzles out and chatted while we worked on them. I didn't contribute much to the chat. My friend who moved to Utah, Bethany, was part of the chat and she is always really good at talking. I realized too that socializing again is going to be hard. Talk of babies seems inevitable when women are conversing. When a friend was talking about making baby blankets because so many people she knows are having baby's, it was hard not to feel sad. I want to be one of those people.

Speaking of...I was doing really good emotionally and then a friend sent me a Christmas ornament that said "My little Angel" and that was really nice but it also made me really sad because it really hit that I wasn't going to have a baby for the holidays. I got real low and a part of me wished I could just forget because I don't want this ache of all that I am missing out with Isaac here on Earth. I am extremely grateful for the eternal perspective that I will see him again but that just feels so far away.

Anyways some positives from this week: Starting a free trial of Disney Plus and enjoying some family movie nights. Experimenting with my new watercolors and adding them to my handlettering. Getting to the store early and finally finding toilet paper! Reese Peanut Butter Eggs! Warmer weather today, Saturday, meant a bike ride with the boys. Finding out that even with the 20% pay cut, we will have enough money each month (mostly because student loan payments have been suspended). And a grocery store date with Tyler ;)

Fresh Air, Easter Things

Last Saturday we did a little Easter Egg Hunt in the house. Apparently our kids are not any better at finding Easter Eggs than they are at finding lost toys. They definitely prefer having the eggs just spread out in grass, ha ha. Despite the moments of frustration when they couldn't find their color eggs (each kid was assigned an egg color), they did enjoy eating the candy afterwards. We also had some light up eggs and used those for a little lesson on following Christ's example. Look at us adding spiritual into the mix.

This past week was Spring Break for the kids so no online schooling to do. Monday I had to go in to the dentist to get my root canal. It was probably the worst one I've had. I could feel the pain in my brain I swear when he got up in that root. And then he shoved this metal ring into my gums while he was putting in the temporary filling. So painful. I still have to go back and get the crown. Not excited about that. And I am also having another tooth with sensitivity that I should probably ask about. I am just dreading the pain and another expensive bill.

Monday we also did a cool experiment with carnation flowers to talk about the atonement. We put the white flowers in colored water (well white flowers with painted tips because that was all I could find) and then we watched throughout the day as they started to change colors. That night we talked about how it was similar to Christ taking upon Himself our sins. It was a nice object lesson for an important Easter lesson. Also note Lucy's hair- being in quarantine I haven't combed it for weeks- can you tell?

That evening after dinner we went on a bike ride on our usual trail through the neighborhood and into the woods. We stopped at the bridge and the kids played around the river, throwing in sticks and climbing trees. It's a good outing for the kids and keeps them from getting too stir crazy.

When we came back from our bike ride, Tyler started a fire and we roasted marshmallows...and peeps! The kids thought it was funny that the Peep's eyes got all big and funky. Lucy is the messiest marshmallow eater alive. Her hand was literally coated with melted marshmallow.

On Tuesday I cut out Easter Eggs from poster board I had on hand and the kids painted them. Then we hung them up in the windows. 

Tuesday afternoon was rainy so we rented "Onward" from Amazon Prime and ate some junk food. Although I hadn't had any interest in seeing that movie, I actually quite enjoyed it. I also enjoyed just snuggling up with the girls. It was a good way to spend a rainy afternoon.

Wednesday the weather was beautiful so I decided we should try to bike somewhere new and looked up bike trails. We ended up going to Maybury State Park in Northville- it was about a 30 minute drive to get there. Tyler loaded up the bikes in his Suburban for me which was really nice but also maybe a poor choice because then I had no idea how to get them back in there. The bike ride itself was definitely more hilly than I expected. Most trails are fairly flat here in Michigan but this one was not. Surprisingly, Penny did amazing going up the hills and she had a blast going down them. Ben was really good at giving her pushes when needed and encouraging her. Lucy, on the other hand, started whining by the time we hit the second hill. She was pretty much miserable the entire time which put a damper on things. After we did a short trail- we bypassed the parts to make it longer- we went off trail to an empty parking lot by the farm center. Ben and Penny had lots of fun just biking around it. I got Steven and Lucy to do a couple races with me in the lot and then they were over it so we headed back to the car. I seriously had the hardest time loading up bikes. A guy felt sorry for me and said (from 6 feet away) that he wished he could help but suggested that popping of front tires is how he fit his in. Too bad I had no idea how to do that. Eventually, after much pain and a shirt covered in tire tracks, I got it done. So though the trail was pretty and a good change- I don't think the loading and unloading of bikes was worth it. I don't think we'll travel with 5 bikes again unless we get an actual bike rack for the car.

Thursday morning the weather started to turn. We went from 70 to 45. But the kids were desperate for another bike ride so I caved and we did our usual route that morning. The route takes us by the library and although the library was closed, we noticed a cart full of free books and games in front. We filled up Lucy's basket with books and I had the fun task of holding a game of Apple to Apples- it was the wood crate version of Apples to Apples- and riding my bike. I dropped it once and it was quite the task to get all the cards back in but it was definitely worth the effort. Steven really likes that game and with some help (me reading cards to Penny) everyone can play. Since the rest of Thursday was rainy and then snowy and then windy (Michigan weather is nuts in the Spring) it was nice to have a new game to play.

Thursday afternoon we made Resurrection rolls. You dip a marshmallow (Christ) in cinnamon and sugar (ointments) and wrap it up in a crescent roll (the tomb). Then you cook it (3 days) and the tomb is empty (because the marshmallow melts). Unfortunately I totally burnt them and we didn't seal the rolls to well so there was crusty marshmallow cinnamon everywhere BUT I think the lesson was at least learned. And I definitely learned not to cook them for so long next year, ha ha.

Friday we dyed Easter Eggs. It did not begin well. Since we use fake eggs the best way to color them is by putting them in a bag with dye and shaking it all up. Well Ben's bag apparently had holes because  when he started to shake it, green dye splattered everywhere- the wall, the curtain, the table...It was horrifying. Thankfully I was able to wipe it all up quick enough and get the curtain in the washing machine fast enough that no staining occurred. After that things went better. No more dye going everywhere. The kids also tried using cups of water, vinegar and dye- the normal way- but discovered the fake eggs just float. Hence the reason shaking it up is the best way to dye them- assuming that the bags don't leak.

Later that day I did some makeovers for the girls. Painted their nails, did their hair and put on some lipstick and eye shadow. They loved it. They felt so fancy. Afterwards we all watched Dolittle. I was not impressed with that movie but the kids enjoyed it.

Also on Friday my friend Caroline dropped off some masks for us so that we can follow the proper protocols. I hate wearing it but I suppose it's good to follow rules and keep others safe. I think this Coronavirus thing is getting pretty crazy. Now stores can't even sell gardening supplies- what the what? And non-essentials are going to banned from sales too. I so worry about our economy when all this is done but I am grateful for the worldwide fast that we participated in Friday (even the boys did it without complaint). We just have to keep our faith in the Lord and try to stay positive. 

Saturday I went grocery shopping first thing in the morning. I was able to find mostly everything but was surprised that at 9:30 things were already really picked over. Some things I was grabbing the last ones of. After that the weather had taken a turn for the better so we decided to go for a bike ride. It wasn't as fun as usual, Penny was struggling to keep up and I get anxious when I can't see the older kids. The way home was a little better though. Ben offered to stick with Penny and encourage her on. It helped a lot. She responds better with him than with me.

Saturday afternoon I attempted to entertain the kids by having them hide and find eggs in the yard. How quickly I forgot how much they hate finding things. The first round, Ben hid the eggs, and there was lots of frustration and crying. After discussing how to hide but not super hide the eggs, Steven hid the eggs and things went much better. It went pretty good the rest of the time because basically everything was in plain sight, just how they like it. I really need to find out how to help them be better seekers. 

That evening we decorated the bunny cake. This years cake was way less creepy than last years. 

Houses for Our Peeps, April Fools Dinner, and Gender Reveal for Angel Baby

This week with being stuck at home and school officially cancelled for the rest of the year (heaven help me!), we decided to add some new family traditions to April to help keep us sane. On Wednesday we made Graham Cracker houses for our Peeps. The kids always pour on the sweet things. So much candy! I helped everyone with their house except Steven and I am really impressed with his creation. My kid is getting old and more able to do hard things.

On April Fool's Day we decided to do a "prank" dinner idea that I had seen posted on Facebook. It ended up being a lot of fun and a complete success. Each of the kids had a menu which basically consisted of 10 different colors. Then I had a separate code for each kid that said what each color stood for- napkin, fork, spoon, bowl, drink, bread, fruit, vegetable, dessert, and spaghetti. Each kid then ordered 3 colors for the first course and then we gave them 5 minutes before letting them order 3 more colors. And at the end they ordered 4 colors. The first course was the most entertaining I think. Lucky Penny got dessert, a spoon and a bowl. Poor Benny got fruit, spaghetti and a fork--- no bowl. I think he actually ate cleaner than usual without a bowl though, ha ha. Steven's first course was probably the lamest- he got a veggie, fork and a napkin. Lucy's first course was the most dinnerish- a fork, a bowl and spaghetti. It continued on with lots of fun combinations and the kids did a great job of just having fun with it and not getting upset. I would love to make this an annual tradition.

Wednesday evening I did a Zoom Meeting with my Young Women which was really fun. It was so good to see a lot of my Young Women and play a "get to know you game" with them. Of course because this seems to be my MO I got in trouble with Bishop because I hadn't let parents know about it. It was so frustrating. I am doing my very best to get back to doing things and anyways I had put one of my yw in charge of notifications which is how this new program is supposed to work. Well after Tyler giving him a talking to in a Bishopric Meeting and then me having to meet with him, Bishop admitted he was just upset because his daughter has been trying to get out of church things and he needs some help with this. He also informed me that his daughter "doesn't feel like she clicks with me" and that she says"we ask them to do things but then don't let them." Argh. She loves to give out complicated ideas for activities but is never willing to act on them. Really she's just giving him excuses that seem to get me in trouble. I have got to find a way to reach her so that she stops throwing me under the bus or so Bishop stops taking his frustrations with her out on me.

Thursday and Friday were beautiful sunny days. We took a walk at Proud Lake Thursday and it was nice to get out and get fresh air. However, outings with kids are always an adventure. Somehow we managed to walk through muddy parts of the path without getting super muddy but then Lucy accidentally stepped into the lake and her shoe and sock were soaked. This of course happened right after I warned her about being too close to the lake. She refused to wear the wet show and sock and walked the rest of the trail with one barefoot, and somehow she managed not to step on anything sharp. On a positive note though, Ben enjoyed climbing all the trees and "tightrope" walking all the trunks and Penny once again adopted a stick and said it was her walking cane because she was an old woman. Ben also found a trunk/stick that looked like Thor's hammer. And I had a butterfly circle around me for awhile and decided that must be my angel baby saying hello.

Later Thursday I took a bike ride with Lucy and Ben and discovered how wildly out of shape I am but it was still a beautiful day to be out. Then Thursday evening we started a fire and roasted marshmallows. Penny thought it was funny to pretend like she started the fire with her gas.

This week we found out our angel baby's gender and decided to recreate the gender reveal we had done when I was pregnant with Penny. So once again we created play dough volcanoes and the one "exploded" was the baby's gender.Here is a pic of the volcanoes:

The boy one fizzed so our angel baby is a boy! The kids were all excited, even the girls! I know I had had a dream that the dr had told me it was a girl but honestly finding out the baby was a boy made me even more certain that that dream was to help me with my perspective in all this. I really think that there wasn't a better name then Joy to help get that point across to me. 

That night after internet searches and family discussions we decided to name our fifth baby Isaac Ian Hatch. We wanted a name that was similar in meaning to Joy so Isaac mean laughter and Ian means God is gracious. I am really happy with his name. 

We originally had the kids choose their Lego selves so we could reveal that I was pregnant- the baby was on a carrier on Tyler. We moved the baby onto the eagle so we could announce our angel baby instead. A miscarriage takes so many earthly experiences away from us that it felt good to still be able to do a gender reveal and announcement in my own way.